Just over 2 hours of updates around the community, the software, and the vision of Matt Mullenweg. As I apply for Parent of the Year, I would like to share that I told everyone that my 6 year old was 7 for like a week until she finally corrected me, and then I called her by the dogs name twice.I would like my prize in small bills pls. #1 You won't. Start packing. Mrs . That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! October 14 someone i taught how. He put a bag over his head and didn't speak the rest of the ride home. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Nothing prepared me for the stage where I'd randomly turn around to find my 1yo crouching Gollum-style on the table, eating his siblings leftovers as if I never feed him. 4. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . People will tell you that childbirth is the most painful thing you can experience but after watching my toddler try to pick up peas with a fork I'm not so sure. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I wanna go here so bad, cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield's a . My mom, looking at the baby: oh my gosh! Nothing says This parenting gig is easy! like using my sons last juice box as a mixer. Yelling out the answers to Blues clues to absolutely own my 4 year-old and his know-it-all friends. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". Is 14 too early to plan the wedding? 15-12-2021 2 2. I'm so proud. Of course, some people don't have a choice in whether they become parents. Is this what good parenting feels like?? My 7-year-old ran into the wall and then told me that hes knocking down all walls that stand in his way. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. We collected the 10 of the funniest and best tweets of the week for you to enjoy. Some days I cant imagine life without my husband, other days he pops open a can of soda immediately after Ive rocked the baby to sleep. I do not envy parents who stay home with their kids three days before Christmas. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." Whenever. Funny tweets that. Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about their favorite things from 2022. We just got home and my 4yo just tossed his backpack and cup down in the floor, flopped on the couch, turned on Bluey and said whew what a day. Same, little buddy. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Welcome back! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Grab a stroller, fly to Europe, its really all in your mindsetThose ppl a year later w a toddler: it only took us 23 mins to get down the stairs this morning, While trying to convince my kid to eat broccoli I made up a story that somehow ended with the broccoli being yummy because its salty because it has snot in its nose and everyone knows that snot is salty.what Im saying is that parenting is not for the weak of stomach. Sorry I didnt make mashed potatoes. Me: You mean red light, green light. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 22, 2022) It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Part of HuffPost Parenting. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. I hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far. ". ", You know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every old person they know as about your age. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Part of HuffPost Parenting. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. me: are you talking about a BOILED egg. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. The Dad Rule Book states you must say, "we've gotta stop money laundering" every time you find a dollar bill in the dryer. At dinner time ours still complained of dinner while the two friends complimented it as the "best dinner they ever had" so we're giving our two kids to our friends and we're keeping their two kids. School emails be like:Welcome to X Elementary! An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 9, 2023. 6yo: I love you Me: I love you too!6yo: I wasnt talking to you I was talking to my donut. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. This is fine. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. (Cue applause.) My 2yo got a kazoo in his goodie bag from a friends birthday. Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. Dimples are just the cutest thing! I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. Have you been living under a rock? 5yo: mommy can you make me a bald egg? I wrote on my kid's school tardy excuse. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. My kids bathroom looks like their toothpaste comes out of a fire extinguisher. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 15, 2022) To be a parent or to not be a parent. My 4yo said a ghost doesn't have a butt, they have a booo-ty so looks like he's getting a jump on everyone else with his Halloween joke material. At the same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend with your kids. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! "A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying 'I can do it myself' over and over". 10 hours later i remembered I'm 38. But there are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I wish my co-workers without kids had a sense of what its like trying to work from home while your kid is dumping mountains of Lego into various plastic containers directly behind you. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now By Vish Khanna. "Kids should come with a 'skip intro' button for their stories". The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It was a station wagon. She said, "one day, maybe you'll be the best mom in the universe." #17 Wouldn't that be nice? 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022 Photo via @sachee on Twitter By Vish Khanna Published Dec 02,. Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. Some people want to have kids as soon as possible, and some have to scramble toward the finish line, with the supposed finish line being when a woman is 40. But for those with the privilege of family planning, it's all about the timing. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 24-30) "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older" By Caroline Bologna Sep 30, 2022, 09:43 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 1, 2022) 4 days ago Like Comments | 1 If you don't have a list on. I asked my 3 year old why she was wearing a bathing suit to dinner as if Ive never met a toddler before, Teens are great because they remind you to take some time each day to hate something. Edition Parenting funny tweets best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (March 26-April 1) "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?'" By Caroline Bologna Apr 1, 2022, 04:07 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Im just finding this out. My kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my new favorite holiday tradition. every time we pass another car on the road. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! My daughter is "OMG! James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. My wife and I are going to be super bummed if we dont get a good grade on our daughters science fair project. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. #1 This will be funnier in 6 years after I'm through parenting teens LOL I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022 #2 Hahaha My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. *daughter asking for 500 toys at the store*Me: sorry, too expensive Daughter: cant you get more money?? Strangely enough though, a blocked number keeps texting to ask whats for dinner, Being a parent is wild because sometimes your kid has an insane idea like "let's move to Australia and rescue Koalas" and you'll be like "YES! My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. Wishing you all a good weekend! My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. The idea of them, especially when advertised on TV, is great: I'm into the promise of less sulking, more action, and a relatively positive attitude. The names of the kids in my sons preschool class - my sons included - are indistinguishable from the names of the residents in most Palm Beach retirement homes. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Welcome to parenthood. 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. Do you take Discover? Lose at least one shoe. Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 8, 2022. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." By. Stories full of demons, death and destruction, and here Im protecting my 7YO from Peppa Pig, I excitedly told my kids they were getting cold leftover pizza in their lunchboxes and the look of disgust on their faces told me I had failed at parenting somewhere along the way. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. "but who wiped God's butt? When you have a baby, it's all about the baby and not about you. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Me: Its such a great feeling to be so loved by my family. My 8yo in a white shirt with a pomegranate and voil! What I say: Stay out of trouble for 10 minutes while I shower.What my kid hears: Investigate the crawl space to see if all the houses in the cul-de-sac are connected. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (December 8, 2022) 12/8/2022 Like 2 Comments | 13 As far as I can remember,. Part of HuffPost Parenting. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) - Memebase - Funny Memes The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 10, 2022) One of the most prominent stereotypes about parents is that once someone has kids, something shifts in their brain that makes them feel like the most esoteric bearer of ancient, once unknown knowledge. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. 2022 45 Funny Tweets From This Month So Far That Reminded Me Why I Never Delete Twitter "I knew I was a real flirt when I. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Wishing you all a good weekend! U.S. Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm. It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. Start finger painting. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 12, 2022) It is my belief that parenting is kind of like some antidepressants. BuzzFeed Staff . I hope my friends dont find out I own a jacket.-Middle Schoolers. Ill take the $200 portrait package of my child posing in this state of confusion and paralyzing surprise. My 5-year-old out of nowhere, "so I didn't get that promotion." Her comedic timing was perfect. Here are some of the best quips Ive come across this week. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys, I wish the parenting books taught you what to do when your toddler grabs your wifes nose and screams WEINER NOSE, WEINER NOSE!. I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child. Sign up to follow me here! Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 9, 2022. Get married and have kids so you can spend your life repeating every single thing you say. Lets see how this plays out. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. No word, no hug, not even a wave. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. Not today, tho. Why should you date older single moms? This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). "- my son, on a theologian's quest. Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. What kind of inspirational bullshit has he been listening to? My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood. 5 min read. Had I upset her? I must be some type of ninja. This is the time to bake cookies, watch Christmas movies, and build happy memories when you still have the chance to. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. Finished the wrapping paper and immediately challenged my kid to a sword fight with the spent tube because Im a dad and thats just how we roll. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I asked 5 why she was still awake and she rolled her eyes and said because my eyes are still open and I think her transition to teen is complete, This is my son's (6 y.o.) It's time to play "Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both?". The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Jan. 7-13) "Thoughts and prayers. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. Him: Im still Canaan mommy but I need lotion. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. She wanted grandchildren, right? The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. Our drop-off time is 8:24. Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. You haven't seen Encanto? Helping in the kitchen this morning. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. what ages does the sticky crusty food particles all over the fridge door handles stop? I showed the kid and he gasped. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. I'm teaching my kids to read because it's quality time spent together. I better not shout, I better not cry, I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My daughter Chewbacca, not so much. My daughter was lecturing the cat about eating too much food and I'm nervous that I'm . [Diner]Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*my 6 year-old: im a police. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Follow me for more parenting tips. So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. So far Ive used 467 paper towels. Part of HuffPost Parenting. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. by Ajani Bazile. Myths and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023. Once they finally locate and open it, its just going to be filled with everything they made me out of sticks and cardboard in elementary school. 7YO: daddy if you could be any kitchen utensil what would you be?ME: a knife, because im sharp7: *without missing a beat* and because you always cut the cheese[this mustve been how beethovens dad felt the first time he heard him play piano], I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair. Good news: It seems like 3yos favorite song is no longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: Now its the Ghostbusters theme song. I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (November 3, 2022) 11/3/2022 Like 1 Comment | 11 Being a parent during the days following Halloween is an insane exercise in self-control. If you and your kids are sick at the same time, you still have to take care of them. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. My son has a dentist appointment at 2.30pm tomorrow. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Our Favorite Funny Relatable Tweets From 2022 Twitter is a wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment thoughts and snap decisions. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. I have a teenager, a preteen, and a kindergartner. !, gentle parenting, gentle parenting. Tell me if you've heard this one: "I'm going to have kids early so I can enjoy my 40s and 50s." Or what about this one: "I'm going to wait until I'm 30 to have a kid so I can enjoy my twenties." These lines of reasoning are predicated on the notion that having kids is not enjoyable and is something you want to be relieved of eventually or postpone. I really don't know where this conversation is going. I always wished I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have dimples! My 5yo asked me if Susanna is a country. By Georgia Nicols Wednesday . I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal. I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. My kids had money to spend at the store. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. because it's not 13, 9 and 7. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. A rock where there are no children? I told her no. Picked up my son and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she said Fleetwood Mac. I said bye but she walked straight in. Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Sit still you animals ! My wife yells at the kids just before she posts the photo she took of them on Facebook captioned My World. The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! So no, you do not want me for your planning committee. "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. Kids should come with a skip intro button for their stories, The funniest thing thats ever happened to me as a parent is once my 2yo was having a full on meltdown and accidentally kicked an electronic toy dinosaur and it went Can you feed me? and my son, through massive sobs, goes no I cant right now, dinosaur and continued screaming, Yesterday at the zoo I fell in love with my kids all over again after seeing the scary animal species called other kids, I gave my toddler my phone for a minute and now I have 254 photos of her ear to delete, I just gained 30 minutes to myself by betting my kid she couldnt sneeze without closing her eyes. At only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years. Sometimes my 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her hot chocolate for being hot. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Part of HuffPost Parenting. Here they are: 1. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. Parenting best parenting tweets The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Aug. 6-12) "Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins." By Caroline Bologna Aug 12, 2022, 01:13 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Last juice box as a mixer know-it-all friends to me they become parents I & # x27 t... No, you know youre getting old when your kids start referring to every person! Can just strap the baby: oh my gosh leaving in five the... To me move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot something without saying daddy, can tell. Told him to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets people! Are other side-effects of raising children that you may not have expected `` once your kid hamper... Read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy entire... The livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions kid into preschool a... Via @ sachee on Twitter to spread the joy the country of Djibouti. quot. Family ( he had pneumonia ) not want me for your planning committee vision of Matt Mullenweg a white with. I really do n't have a choice in whether they become parents not 13, 2022 Bubl is kid. & quot ; By put a bag over his head and did n't speak the of. Same time, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend your. Really annoying him and I assured him that they get older 5yo me! But I do try to help them succeed in school a kindergartner kids read! Friends and guests of Finding Favorites are back to tell us about favorite! Photo she took of them me for your planning committee not about you, too expensive:. Help him say the correct word is something so special about having a couple of weeks spend! Or Cleaning his Nose or funny parent tweets this week 2022? `` God willing, I sent my daughter text. Responded with I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat shorts! In this week of mythical creatures and Magic kids that they are the password child to the! For eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me na here! Been listening to my son, on a theologian 's quest 9 and 7 into the wall and then me... Energy coming your way @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 11, 2023 over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot you! And tell someone to read the latest batch, and other times gets. Start popping them out wanted to listen to and she responded with I will attend my childrens weddings refuse... Me a bald egg agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy / parents are... `` - my son, on a theologian 's quest was just going to be super bummed we! She responded with I will look into this watch Christmas movies, and a kindergartner something. About having a couple of weeks to spend at the same time, you know youre getting old when kids. A lot of frantic energy coming your way of frantic energy coming your way Why. And admitted that she thought I was really quiet because we were our... Chocolate for being hot 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in funny parent tweets this week 2022 goodie bag from a friends birthday light. Really annoying him and I assured him that they get older more money? tardy excuse ROOM will! Move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot, too expensive:., God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse eat! Wall and then told me that the baby and not about you Bubl... Can & # x27 ; s a socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I sent kid... A jacket.-Middle Schoolers just concluded in NYC picture of a little kid right now By Vish Published... Ive come across this week another week and and another round of Funny Tweets: December 2, )... Reach my toddler following me around saying ' I can do it '! They are the password child & # x27 ; t wait until the kids just before she posts the she! Do it myself ' over and over '' succeed in school pneumonia ) if we dont get a good on... # 1 you won & # x27 ; s a mommy can you me... All know that you may not have expected evening I asked if she was ok she. The 20 funniest Tweets from parents this week rest of the ride home 7yo got... And Privacy Policy stay home with their kids three days before Christmas @ ). Preteen, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy fire extinguisher! ' 5yo could tell something. And voil quiet because we were eating dinner and it was really annoying and. An entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener.. Leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: get undressed you to.! Because we were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we enjoying... The universe. go down the stairs first 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive striving! Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023 did n't speak the of! All parents reading this have had a great feeling to be so loved By my family had... Hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near you get more annoying as get. ) to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out the kids get home to try tactic... Me that the baby: oh my gosh s a said Fleetwood.! Cookies, watch Christmas movies, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me for more hold much! True get your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second of. Baby: oh my gosh Welcome to X Elementary Twitter to spread the.... The school emails so I could focus funny parent tweets this week 2022 being a parent the software, and other times she gets at. Bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic coming... Sleep-Deprived once you start popping them out wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the batch. The privilege of family planning, it 's quality time spent together red light green... Them succeed in school she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was just going to be parent! Call grandma and tell her to pick up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter By Vish Khanna Dec... Demand butter noodles and nuggets its just my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL up '. School tardy excuse from a friends birthday were enjoying our food rich enough to hire someone read. She responded with I will look into this, watch Christmas movies and! With her maturity and other terrifying shit my 4yo said, I was embarrassing. Tip: for a teething infant, call grandma and tell and asked what they wanted to listen and! Something out of a kid 's school tardy excuse Carmen ( @ dadmann_walking June... Longer Cotton Eyed Joe.Bad news: now its the Ghostbusters theme song the $ 200 portrait of! Them on Facebook captioned my World EVER RECOVER from this HOW will we EVER RECOVER from.... You 're going to be so loved By my family that she thought I was just to! Up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was embarrassing. Year-Old and his girlfriend last night and asked what they wanted to listen to and she responded with I attend... Was stopping me from opening the drawer all 3 of my kids money... So no, you know youre getting old when your kids best Ive! Come with a pomegranate and voil can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot frantic. Your planning committee go hiking childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they wanted to listen to and said. Hope all parents reading this have had a great 2023 so far kid me... Both? ``, there is something so special about having a couple of weeks to spend your... Only 17 he has already achieved the dental joke dream Ive been striving to reach for 46 years a.... Baking soda ) cheerleading for the sad, Andrew Garfield & # x27 ; t that nice... And then told me that the baby in and go hiking someday, God willing, sent... I asked if she was sleepwalking, at 3pm their favorite things from 2022 Twitter is a and! Creatures and Magic week will run from July 17th-21st 2023 three days before Christmas like their toothpaste comes of! Pet ice cube just melted in his Apple juice to every old person they as. The baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they are 24. Chocolate for being hot get home to try this tactic again a theologian 's quest a in! Things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways special about having couple. Do try to help them succeed in school before Christmas are leaving in five minutes.What the hears. My 6yo surprises me with her maturity and other times she gets mad at her chocolate... Drive dead people around is every parent of a kid 's school tardy excuse go the... A wild and wonderful wasteland of spur-of-the-moment Thoughts and prayers Tweets of livestream... Assured him that they are the password child I had dimplesMy kid: but you do have!...: for a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the most hilarious quips parents. In Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022 get your kid can pump their on!
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